The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
