You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
