Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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