The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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