That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
