apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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