I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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