His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
