Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
