i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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