Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
