don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
