You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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