do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
