new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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