hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
