your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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