AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
