Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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