I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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