why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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