btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
ok first of all what the fuck
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
