I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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