I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
