I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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