Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
one might say we're banned from that church
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
