I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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