I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
