Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
