roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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