No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
