How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
