you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
