I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
