so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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