Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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