Its about making memories worth repressing
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
