Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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