Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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