How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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