I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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