I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize