She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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