i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
