3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
