So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
