? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
