And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
