Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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