I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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