Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
